Blink
by Adja
Summary: Somewhere in season 3, after at least 3x10. Wanna know why Dick and Mac are unconfortable around each other ? Why he's holding something against her ? Read then !Short chapters. Slight songfic. Logan, Veronica, Dick, Mac. Wallace. Mentions of Bronson.
1. There's something weird

Mac was having lunch with Wallace, Veronica, Piz and Logan. Actually, the brunette was now mocking puking while Logan kissed Veronica with more passion that needed over a hamburger. Wallace was grinning widly and Piz's disgusted face was much more credible. Mac felt sorry for him, even more when he took off hastily mentionning a class.

But it was her turn to wig out when she spoted Dick standing in the cafeteria his tray in the hands, glancing around for a place to sit. She rose abruptly off her seat, spilling her can. "Gotta boogie." Veronica looked around and spoted the actually contrite Dick, swaying on his feet. Wallace gave her a slight bump on the shoulder and grinned. "i'll catch up with her, don't worry."

Veronica smirked when Dick sat beside Logan and stretched his fingers in a helloing way.

At the cafeteria exit, Wallace draped a friendly arm around Mac's soulders. " Still can't stand him, huh ?" He gets surprised when Mac didn't shot back a 'damn straight' but pursed her lips with discomfort. "No. It's not that... It's more like... I don't wanna have to stand him." She gave him a tentative smile. Wallace squeesed her shoudler before letting go. "Maybe one day he'll feel better and stop radiating." Her mouth quircked a little. "_Radiating ?_"

Wallace grinned. "I can't think of a better way to put it. You know, he feels so bad that his whole pain can't be kept inside him. The others around have to feel it." Mac turned wistful. "I hope he will." She said. _More than you'll know, given that a great part of it is probably my fault._

"So, where is Bronson ?" Wallace asked, snapping her back to reality. "Hum, he's been working a lot lately." she answered into a slightly accusating tone. He frowned. "You two are all right ?" Mac raised a brow. "Yeay." she didn't sound that convinced. _For now._

_---_

Veronica watched Dick walking away from her and Logan, frowning. "What's bugging you sweetie ?" Her boyfriend flicked a curl of hair off her forehead. "I don't know. I can't seem to understand why would Dick be angry with Mac. I mean, that the sight of each other still hurt them, I can get, Grad Night isn't that far from us, after all. But... there was clearly something else. Like... he was upset. Do you think ... he might blame her somehow ?" Logan raised a brow. "About Cassidy ?" "Yeah." He pursed his lips together and took her hand. "I don't know. I don't think so. He just... feels bad, and you know him, his way to express his feelings is... inexistant." Veronica smiled.

"But, enough with Dick." Logan said. "What about the handsome dude over here ?" Logan wisperd, nibbing at her earlobe. Veronica chuckled, closing her eyes. "Aw, Love, don't start now... we have class in like... twenty minutes." But she ran her hand on his jean, he groand slightly while kissing her neck, letting his tongue slid through his lips a few times. "Could we just skip it ?" He said, sliding a hand under her shirt, she gave in. "Gets your keys. Now."


	2. What's up with those two ?

Dick is lying on on his back in the couch at the Grant, trying to play against Logan while his head was hanging down toward the floor. He watched his car crash on the upside down screen and sweard. He rolled on his side and sat back up. Logan smirked. "Better do that, you suck enought already."

Dick punched him. "So, you and Ronnie weren't supposed to spend some time together today ?" he frowned as Logan cracked out. "What ?!" Logan kept on laughing. "Nothing, it's just... hearing you say 'spend some time' instead of 'fuck' is really something that cheers you up for a while !" Dick grumbled and Logan went on. "Anyway, we were, but she's helping Mac fight through a couple crisis." He frowned. "Well, more like a break up actually." Dick picked a red car. "Mac and Bronson split ?" he remained glued to the screen as Logan gave him a strange look. "You knew her guy's name ? Whetever, yeah, they did. Erm... she did." Logan's car crashed. "Shit !" Dick smirks at his victory. "Bummer. Well, hope Veronica does a good job conforting her." Logan really eyed him this time, then paused the game and turn to him, shifting in his armchair. "Now that's creepy, dude ! Since when you even care about what Veronica does and about Mac ?" Dick shrugged.

"Ronnie's your girl, Logan. As a friend I'm bound to check on how you two are doing." His friend chuckled. "And now you're calling me 'Logan' ?" "Oh, Fuck !" Dick exclaimed, tossing his controller aside. "You're sometimes even worse than her, you know that _dude _?" Logan raised his hand in surrender. "Fine." he said, and Dick was relived that no anger was to hear in his voice. He sighed. "I know you'll kick me for even asking.." Dick started again, causiously looking away. "But, can I trust you with some shit I've done ?" Logan shifted, the conversation was serious. "Sure, dude. But you knew that already."

Yeah, Dick knew that. They could always trust each other. The question was more like a preparation for Logan. "About Mac..." Dick paused and bit his bottom lip. Logan tried to help him. "Veronica wonders if your mad at her for some reason." Dick eyed him quickly. "Yeah, I erm... I was." He finally faced Logan. "But then, i did something really stupid and I can't seem to forget it. So, now I just feel bad." Logan frowned. He was suddenly scared of something Dick would call 'something really stupid', given how weird they had been around each other, he wondered a sec if they'd slept together. He shook his head to push the thought away. _No way._

"What'd you do ?" Dick looked guilty, a face that wasn't in his usual range of expressions. "Well, before this summer, we... sort of called it a truce or something." Logan frowned. "I don't see why it would be a bad thing." "Well, in september, i got wasted, as... you know I often did." "You were grieving." Dick chuckled sadly. "So ? Well, I ran into her and said some nasty bits to her and ... I don't know. I feel bad cause I think I hurt her a lot."

Logan watched his friend with some kind of respect. "Waow. I didn't think I'd here to hear you say something like that, ever." Dick was really expausing his tender side, and he knew mocking him could make him close and never be that open again. "But, Dick, seriously. Don't you think that... letting _her_ know that would be right ?" Dick ran a hand in his hair. "Ok, Logan, this is the last sentence I will ever manage to get out in this conversation cause I'm not a fucking emo guy : I could never talk to her. Ne-ver." he detached the syllabs. "You don't even know how hard it was to tell _you._ And you're... you, Logan. Dude. My best pal. And now she's mad at me, I ... No." He paused, considering Logan, how kept quiet. "It was just so you know." Logan nodded. "Ok. But I guess you feel better now." "Yeah, why ?" Logan stared suggestivly at him. "Nothing."

"Dude, don't tell her that, alright. Never let her know. If she's ever gonna be told, it'll be by me." Logan agreed, happy he got him to the path that he might change his mind and wondered what made this into such a bid deal. His friend pride was something udge. More, Dick had been that jerk to anyone around cause he was scared to be himself. He knew it, he was Logan Echolls. Hell, he'd done that too. But he was actually puzzled that Dick seemed to be caring that he'd hurt Mac.

---

Mac jumped when Veronica dropped on a seat beside her. "Hey, there." "Hey, V." Veronica looked over Mac's arm to study the book she'd been spacing out from. "I hear european economy is boring that way." "What ?" Mac gave her a confused look, then her eyes settled on her homework. "Oh. Yeah." Veronica grinned. "You ok ?"

"Sure, m'fine. Why not ?" Veronica pouted. "Nothing. You seem... hype." Mac sighed. "Yeah. I'm kinda nervous, I er... can seem to avoid Dick in the hallways and... I have to wonder evertime if he's gonna stick to ignoring me or bother to spend enough time to take my head off." Veronica grimaced. "Ew ! ... I should stop visualising stuff." Mac chuckled. _I managed to get a smile, it's a start. _"Yeah, I don't know what that pinhead has against you but I'll kick his ass anytime you want. Just say the world." Mac pursed her lips. "Don't, it's not... him. I... I think i gave him a pretty good reason to be pissed. I guess... This is my guilt trip." Veronica stared at her friend. "What do you mean ?" Mac shook her head, looking sad. "i... I'll tell you. Just... not now, ok."

Veronica obeyed. Mac was her friend, she cared about her a lot and if pushing was going to her, she won't be. "Whatever, Mac. Just tell me when and _if _you want to. All I can do is... tell you I'm here, and that... being Dick, he has a certain amount of guilt on his shoulder having been such a jerk for so long. So, if he has a little brain, he'll cut you some slack." Mac gave her a slight smile. "Don't worry."


	3. What happened

Dick rolled over in his bed, clenching his jaws with anger. Why can't he get some fucking sleep ! He kept flashing back to his conversation with Logan. It had trigger a few memories. Painful ones, though they shouldn't have been.

Well, the funeral was, obviously, a sad memory. He remembered how it all started. Mac had been there and he remembered trying often to meet her eyes, glancing at her, wondering how she felt. If she did feel as hollow and hurting as he did.

She had noticed him, but it had seemed to make her incomfortable, so he'd stop. Just giving her a last long glance before exiting the graveyard. He'd tried to put some support in it, but given he had had tears in his eyes, he didn't think that she'd got it that way.

---

Mac kicked her puff down her bed, shifting for the hundereds time. She couldn't seem to get comfortable. One minute she was too hot, the next she was cold. Woa, this conversation with Veronica had messed with her head. She gripped her pillow, pulling it on top of her in an embrace._ Shit._

She remembered the time she'd spent in her car, after the funeral, thinking back of Dick and his stares. She felt so sorry for him. She'd lost her boyfriend and found that he had been cheating all time long, but _he _had lost his brother. The one last member of his familly.

She remembered how stunned he had looked when he'd opened his door, three hours after the ceremony, and found her looking back at him. Their eyes had just locked with each other's. She wondered hwo long it had lasted, how long had they stood in front of each other, before she'd bitten her lip, fighting tears.

Then they'd fallen in each other's arms, sobbing and feeling completly connected. They'd cried on the other's shoudler. They'd kept holding each other, gripping each other like their lives depended on it, even after their knees had given out and they'd fall on the floor.

---

He didn't remembered how exactly they ended up on the couch, but he remembered they'd kept cuddling each other, like they'd been close forever. And they felt that way, at the moment. Close, united, in the grief. In the loss. And also, in the peace.

They'd watched the sun set silently. His arm drapped around her, her arm across his chest. There had been nothing like flirting, not even a word said. It had been the first time he ever remembered crying. But also the first time he ever felt safe. Naked, endangered, but somehow safer than ever. In her arms, in the couch, at that moment. He'd rested his head against hers and felt the pain slowly fade as he drifted into sleep.

---

Mac sighed, she'd been so confortable there. So _home. _It was like, with some mysterious magics, they'd managed to paused the life movie to a time to rest, to catch their breathes and ease the pain. She remembered how simple it had felt when he'd closed his hand on hers, on the one that had been resting on his stomac. Not tangling of fingers, just his palm, over her hand.

He'd sneezed and jerked his hand so fast that he'd broken a bracelet, spilling wodden pearls all over them. They'd chuckled silently, just flicking them away, not moving.

She remembered how safed she'd felt when he'd sighed a yawn and rested his head on hers. She'd nested hers in his neck and let sleep take over.

And when he'd woken up, he had been alone. No sign of her. He'd felt his heart sank so low that he wondered if he had ever felt so empty. So it had been a trick. He was getting punished, some confort for a night just to get him hurting more the next day.

He'd gotten up, and tried to call her, his brain telling him that she had had to go not to worry anyone. But she wouldn't pick up.

---

Mac gripped her pillow tigher, she'd skedaddled. She'd woken up, feeling weird, Dick still holding her with a sweat face. She'd freak out, remembering people were probably wondering where she'd gone. She'd left the mansion, walking silently, bare feet, through the rooms.

The first time he'd called, she'd hadn't heard her cell buzzing, but the other three times, she had just been staring at it. She couldn't get her hand to move and pick up. She felt so guilty that being with him had made her feel so much better. Made them feel so much better.

It wasn't fair. Cassidy was dead. Either of them had been able to see he wasn't ok. So they didn't deserve to find confort, anywhere.

When she'd made up her mind and gather her strength to go to the mansion again, to check if he was ok or wether he needed help with Cassidy's stuff, she'd found out he was gone. For the whole summer. She'd felt so bad that they'd left thing that way. She hadn't got the chance to explain.

---

Was was bugging Dick the most, was that, he knew... deep inside he was convinced that he wouldn't have turn into the guy he'd been – which he knew, he wasn't that much of a jerk, wasn't a healthy nice guy - if she'd been here. Or at least, even if they stayed apart, if things hadn't end the same way. Like 'bye, see ya at Hearst' or something.

He punched the matress, thinking of how dumb he had been. All fucking summer he'd wanted to know what had happened, if he'd done something wrong or anything. And when she'd opened the door to him as he was looking for her roomie for a booty call, he could have sworn she had been about to say something. Explain.

And he hadn't been able to help himself and told her shit. He regretted. Oh fuck he regretted. Cause since that, the last hope he'd had to get back to this sate of peace had poofed like a bubble and everytime they'd bumped into each other he'd seen how bad she'd felt.

Apparently, she'd hadn't said a word about that night. That night, that feeling, that girl he missed so much.

---

Mac dig her fingers in the poor pillow. She'd seen, the mess he'd became. And wondered, since, how much she was guitly in that change. He'd trusted her, and she'd hurted him. More than she would have guessed, more than he would never admit. She closed her eyes, a tear slowly run down her face to the matress, as she finally found rest.


	4. An idea ?

Logan saw Dick's head pocking in the living room. "Got coffee left ?" Logan frowned while he nodded in affirmative. "Since when do you drink coffee ?" Dick looked at him with dark, tired eyes. "Since I didn't get any fucking sleep." he uttered, too exhausted to even sound angry.

He crossed his arms on the table after emptying his mug, and rested his head on them. After a while, he lifted his chin and met his friend's puzzled look. "Could you do me a favour ?" Logan jumped and sat on the counter. "Sure, as long as it doesn't get me arrested or ending up naked in public." "Nope." Logan waved. "Ask away. What do you need ?"

Dick's lips quircked a bit. "A party."

---

Veronica approached Mac. The brunette was – as usual lately – wistful, playing with some wooden pearls in her hand, which she quickly shoved in her pocket as soon as she acknoleged her friend's presence. She gave her genuine smile when Veronica dropped beside her. "I need a huge favour from you, Mac-attack." "Hacking ?" Veronica shook her head. "Nope, harder. Party, at Logan's. Tonight. He wants you to be here." A cloud passed on Mac's eyes. "He said it was important. Vital." Mac pursed her lips. "Kay."

Veronica smiled. Logan had better being right that it as important, cause she didn't like causing pain to Mac. "You look tired, you ok ?" "Yeah, just had trouble sleeping last night. The moon, probably." Veronica grinned. "I guess not, since the full moon is like... two weeks ahead of us." Mac smirked. "Neat. I have an advance on the calendar."

---

Logan pocked his head in Dick's room. The blond guy was lying across his bed, peacefully sleeping, breathing slowly. _Amazing. _The sleepless one had found sleep in a minute after he'd set out the night. _Guess he didn't need that much but hope._

Six hours later, Dick entered the living room yawning. "Dude, I'm so fucking hungry." Logan grinned and pointed out a plate on the tray with his thumb. "Oarf... Lo ! You're better than a mom !" Logan raised an eyebrow. "I'll take that as a compliment." "You totally have too !" Dick said, sinking his teeth on his sandwitch, thinking about the dream he'd just awoken from. He'd jsut flashed back to that night. So he'd woken up feelling well.

Now, he just wanted to make it up to her. Whatever would happen. Just... apologise.

---

Mac woke up jumping and settled her eyes on Veronica's amused expression. "You should give up on european's economics." Mac grinned. "Just tell me I didn't snore." Veronica chuckled. "Didn't even drool." "Good." Then she spotted Logan and Dick aproaching, looking both very alike, their hands shoved in their pockets. Mac winced. "That's my cue to leave." She said, rising. Veronica nodded. "Tonight'll be enough."

Logan kissed her hair, watching Mac walk away quickly. Dick just dropped on the seat she'd just emptied and leaned on the table, nesting his head in his arms, closing his eyes. "Your life is amazingly simple." Veronica sated. Dick chuckled sarcasticly, not moving his head and Logan kissed Veronica's hand with a misterious smile. "Don't be so sure, love."


	5. Boredom & Surprises Blink that away

Mac sighed, considering trying to drawn in the depths of her drink. _Dad always say you can drawn in a glass of water. _She was bored. But even more than that. Bored and unconfortable. It wasn't her world. Parties ? Aren't you supposed to have fun at parties ?

She knew no one ! Well, there was Veronica and Logan, but... since they were glued to one another, thy couldn't carry on a conversation, and she really prefered to be away... of that sight that made her feel, well, single.

A guy bumped into her and gave her a drunken leer. He looked directly at her breasts, something she liked soooo much ? And When he tried to touch her, she warned. "Do that... Grope me, and you'll never be able to jack off again." The durnk agve her a frighten look and turned away, tring to keep steady.

She heard the laugh behind her. Logan and Veronica were looking for her. "Careful Mac, you're starting to sound like Veronica." Mac grinned. "I don't know what's wrong with that." Veronica smiled. "Damn right !"

Logan waved before leaving them. "Nothing, but... just so you know, there's only one handsome me." The girls chuckled. And after a few seconds, Mac went back to her will to get out. "I don't get why Logan told us it was important ? I mean, what makes this any different that the parties I avoid ?" "I don't know, Mac. I'm not in the loop. Sorry." Veronica answered, raising a eyebrow as she saw Dick getting out of his room, for the first time of the night. Some easy chick thrown herslef to him and she almost chocke when he pushed her away with a contrite smile.

"I think I'm gonna go." Mac said, glancing around, yawning. "You can't." Logan abruptly appeared at their side. "I need you to be here." Mac smirked. "To bore myself to death ?" He girnned. "Sorry. Dick's a little shy. He's actually the one that wanted you here. Something's up. Just wait a minute more." Mac's tummy flipped. "Dick ?" Veronica uttered, studying Logan's features then Mac's blushing face. The latter suddenly whished that she could run away. Disappear, cease to exist.

What, another public humiliation ? Neat. No thanks. Then, why would Logan agree ? She pursed her lips. If she wanted to know, she was going to have to wait and see.

Dick climbed behind the cd player and just slid a disk with 'Mac' written on it in the player and desappeared into the crowd. His voice filled the room, that had cleared from most of the people already. _"Hey, Mac. I erm... I'm sorry. I just... didn't think what I said. ... Just so you know."_ Mac's eyes widdened in shock at the sentence, and she met Veronica's stunned stare, trying to figure out which was the song that had started playing. She knew it dammit ! She even liked it. _Fuck. _Blink 182.


	6. Remembering

Mac swallowed thickly acknoledging how acurate _I miss you_'s lyrics felt. _"__Hello there, the angel from my nightmare. The shadow in the background of the morgue. The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley" _The deep strong woice of the singer didn't help her much out of her confusion. She scanned the crowd, trying to find Dick. Why wouldn't he talk to her instead ? She felt so... eeeeeh ! You know ?

"_We can live like Jack and Sally if we want. Where you can always find me. We'll have Halloween on Christmas. And in the night we'll wish this never ends."_ She sighed, she knew where he meant. Back on those memories. On that couch._ "We'll wish this never ends."_

She slightly pushed Veronica aside, who was trying to question her. Logan caught his girlfriend's arm. "Not now. Just... let it be." Mac's jaws clenched as the "I-miss-you, I-miss-you"s, so hushed that you had to really pay attention to the song to notice them, filled her ears.

She almost remembered the lyrics word for word. She elbowed her way through the crowd, heading to where she though he'd vanished. He wasn't going to get away without an explaination. If he really did mean what he said, and really wanted her to hear _that fucking very song, _she needed to see it for herslef. In his eyes. Which she knew she'd been able to read for an entire evening and night. "_Where are you ? and I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight. I need somebody and always, This sick strange darkness, Comes creeping on so haunting every time."_

And suddenly she saw him, his back almost turned to her. She reached for his elbow and he turned to her. She met a sad and scared () gaze. _"And as I stared I counted, Webs from all the spiders, Catching things and eating their insides. Like indecision to call you, and hear your voice of treason. Will you come home and stop this pain tonight"_ He didn't gudge. It was her move, she knew it. So she slowly took his hand and lead him to the dancing crowd. And she found her fingers slightly shaking as they touched. _"Stop this pain tonight."_

As they turned to face each other, she slid her arms around his neck, careful not to look him in the eye and rested her head on his chest while he hold her waist. "_Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)" _The contact felt so good. Like before. Like that time. Why ? Why would he be the only one who could make her feel that ? And why did they screw it up. _"Don't waste your time on me you're already  
The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)"_

She raised her looks and found him looking down at her, probably wondering if they were ever goind to talk. "I'm sorry." Mac said. Dick's stomac tightened. _He_ was the jerk and _she_ was apologising to him ? "I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I couldn't pick up. I'm sorry I was too late when I came back." He blinked, unable to speak again. _She came back ? _

He closed his eyes, avoiding Logan's glare from across the room. "I'm sorry I've been such an ass." She had teary eyes when she gave him a tentative smile. He bended slightly and placed a kiss on her forhead, uttering once again against her skin. "I'm sorry."

"_Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)" _ She shifted and let her arms fall down, for a second he was affraird she would run away or slap him, but instead she fished some very familliar looking wodden pearls off her pocket and slid a few in his, pocketting back the others. "_Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)" _She held his waist, pulling him closer. She pressed her eyelids together to fight the tears that had threatened to fall ever since she'd seen the flash in his eyes at the sight of his former bracelet.

He felt so much better now. He was sure, even if she went now. Right now. That he would be able to get a full night's sleep. He caressed her hair. "_Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)" _"I missed you too." Mac uttered, still leaning against him. "Just so you know." she added, with a grin.

He cupped her face and lifted it to study her. "_Don't waste your time on me you're already  
The voice inside my head ! (I miss you, I miss you)" _She couldn't believe how hard she'd wished he'd come around and he'd finally done it. She couldn't believe how much she'd wanted to let him know this simple fact and she'd finally done it. Hoping he would make things better. For him ? For her ? _(I miss you, I miss you)_

And now he was staring at her in disbelief. She really wanted him to believe her. She really wanted him to feel better. She really wanted him to make her feel better. Like that night. She really wanted him. _(I miss you, I miss you)_

She drew a little closer, hoping he'd get the message. She wasn't Veronica, she wasn't good on first moves. The first she'd managed to go to him, she'd ended up running and they had stop being friends almost as soon as they'd started. _(I miss you, I miss you)_

He frowned a second and finally bended to catch her lips. She tightened her grip on his shirt when electrity ran down through them. She responded and felt him gasp with surprise. She felt so light, almost like laughing goofily. All the weight that had been hurting her back as she was so tensed everytime, was just lifting up.  
Just because he was there again, close. Wanting to be here and feeling the same than her. And he was kissing her, grazing her cheek and sighing of contentement, a few pearls burning him through his jeans for the meaning they had. _(I miss you, I miss you)_

---

"Logan." Veronica said, gripping his hand. "Tell me you didn't just see Mac and Dick kiss." He pulled her in his embrase, resting his chin in her head, watching the dancing couple, a few feet away. "I somehow knew it would happen." he wispered. Veronica squealed, realising she hadn't been allucinating. Logan chuckled. "I've never seen him care that much about anyone." he stated.

Veronica pulled away with shock, and he silented her with his lips. Geez, if Dick was ok now, he had to get his sugar, too !


End file.
